The Thorns

My biggest struggle throughout my life has been anxiety. It is something I would love to say is gone forever, but it always rears its ugly head again and again.  I think often about what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 

[7] Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! [8] Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. [9] And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. [10] Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.

I am unsure of what this thorn was, but I believe he was afflicted physically, just as Jacob when wrestling with God in Gen 32:25. I have struggled with anxieties as maybe even David did, as I read several of His poems to that affect.  I used to feel guilty, like I have no faith to persevere.  God showed me something different, of which I wrote a poem about in the late 90s.  I have looked high and low for this poem and for some reason I cannot find it and when seeking God about it the answer I got was "begin again".  I don't know why but God wanted me to write a new one. Maybe there was something in my heart after years of struggling with these feelings that I've gained that I didn't have back in the 90s. So, below is a new rendition to that poem. 

 

The Thorns

God planted a seed in my heart a long time ago. 

And year after year, He has watched it grow,

But over time, His work became clear. 

As He tilled the ground and the soil year after year.

Sometimes the seed simply did not take. 

And we think it’s all just a mistake. 

As the wind blows it away for the birds to consume.

And it gets trampled by men and dies before noon.

That’s when we don’t see a change in man. 

So the master gardener again plants with His hand. 

But this seed falls into the rocks and grows tall. 

Yet it dies quickly and we simply fall. 

But God in His mercy never stops working on us. 

He plants again but this time, thorns grow up. 

They choke the seed growing inside. 

It fails to grow due to man’s pride. 

We all are His soil, whose ground He tills. 

As He bends and molds us to do His Holy will. 

He tills the path so the seed will grow. 

And removes rocks every few years or so. 

But the thorns, they stick and hurt when he takes them away. 

Because we are the ones holding them with each passing day. 

We fear letting go so we play tug of war.

But God wins and He pulls out the thorn. 

With our thorns we find comfort in staying stale.

And it’s those very thorns that won’t let us prevail. 

But once we let go and let Him do His work in our heart. 

We grow up and become what He planned from the start. 

And at last the soil is good and produces a crop. 

And those thorns we hung onto are soon forgot. 

God has planted many seeds in my life through the years. 

And watered and cultivated them despite my fears.

Because He desires for me to be the best version of Him. 

He will till and water again and again.

He will always be there to comfort me as He pulls out each thorn. 

Giving me a balm of His healing as I am reborn. 

© 2025 Sandra C. Johnson 

Luke 8:4-15 NASB1995

[4] When a large crowd was coming together, and those from the various cities were journeying to Him, He spoke by way of a parable: [5] “The sower went out to sow his seed; and as he sowed, some fell beside the road, and it was trampled under foot and the birds of the air ate it up. [6] Other seed fell on rocky soil, and as soon as it grew up, it withered away, because it had no moisture. [7] Other seed fell among the thorns; and the thorns grew up with it and choked it out. [8] Other seed fell into the good soil, and grew up, and produced a crop a hundred times as great.” As He said these things, He would call out, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” [9] His disciples began questioning Him as to what this parable meant. [10] And He said, “To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to the rest it is in parables, so that seeing they may not see, and hearing they may not understand. [11]  “Now the parable is this: the seed is the word of God. [12] Those beside the road are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their heart, so that they will not believe and be saved. [13] Those on the rocky soil are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no firm root; they believe for a while, and in time of temptation fall away. [14] The seed which fell among the thorns, these are the ones who have heard, and as they go on their way they are choked with worries and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to maturity. [15] But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance.

Dismantling and Rebuilding

My husband is rebuilding an old utility trailer.  Right now it is gutted with piles of lumber scattered everywhere.  I was sharing a picture with a friend and said "Dismantling and Rebuilding" which made me think about how God is doing exactly that.  Jesus is the master carpenter. 

Dismantling and Rebuilding

When things go wrong as they sometimes do.

And we fall apart, not seeing God's point of view.

That's when God dismantles what we had left. 

As we stand in the rubble and start to fret. 

But God's plan is beginning within. 

He's writing His laws on our hearts, as a new work begins. 

He is the master carpenter of all of our lives. 

Dismantling and rebuilding us into someone we don’t recognize. 

We see the rubble, He sees His plan. 

As He builds and restores by the work of His hand. 

He knows how each piece should fit together.

Rebuilding broken lives is His endeavor. 

God is dismantling and rebuilding us one by one. 

To make us more like Jesus the Son.

So when you look around and all you see is the rubble. 

Rejoice because God has a plan out of all the trouble. 

It's not out of His will or His destiny. 

Your life has been in His hands since eternity.

And one day a finished work will emerge

Along with a new heavens and new earth. 

So many live in the rubble and without God create more. 

Not seeing the purpose or what it is for. 

They think they know and attempt to save Mother Earth. 

Concerned about climate change, they tell us 

we must convert. 

They have their ideas of how to save the planet today.  

And too many have listened to what they say. 

But unknown to most, God has a plan.

He is dismantling and rebuilding with His mighty hand. 

When things go wrong as they sometimes do. 

Remember God has a plan that is steadfast and true.

He is dismantling the world from man's mistakes and sins. 

And rebuilding us into a Kingdom that will glorify Him. 

© 2025 Sandra C. Johnson

The Oil

 The Oil

Ten virgins waiting for the bridegroom to come. 

Knew they must prepare and do what needs to be done. 

But five of these virgins ran out of oil and had to get more. 

And the others had plenty because they knew what it was for. 

They quickly went out to buy more oil. 

But when they returned, their hopes were foiled. 

The wedding feast had already begun. 

And they were too late to enter, they could not overcome. 

I always wondered  how they ran out of oil so fast. 

And how the others made their oil last. 

Was it due to using it all or was it the kind that they bought. 

Was it a cheap merchant where they oil was sought? 

Unknown to me, but the parable has a moral to learn. 

So I seek the heart of the Father and contemplate on His Word. 

Because I seek His Kingdom and pray my lamp will be full. 

When the wedding begins that I will be there as His treasured jewel. 

There was once a widow that was asked to bake bread. 

She sighed because she couldn't with the lack of flour and oil she had. 

But a prophet named Elijah promised it would never run dry. 

It was clear this oil came from the Father on high. 

Is your jug of oil running out and empty again? 

Where are you filling your jug my friend? 

Is man filling your heart of who he deems God is. 

Or are you hearing from God directly within. 

His Spirit can fill your empty jug and it will never run dry. 

Because His oil comes from the Father on high.

Could it be that these five virgins received oil from Him?

Instead of oil from the precepts of men?

There were ten virgins with oil. Which one are you?

The one with  faith in God alone and all that which is true. 

Or is your oil running out because the quality is weak? 

And it comes from the idols of man and not the God that you seek. 

I believe it is not simply that we have enough oil to enter into the feast. 

But it must be supplied from Yahweh, the God whom we seek. 

His oil will never run dry and He will fill your heart. 

So throw away the oil of the world and let His oil enter your innermost part.  

© 2025 Sandra C. Johnson

The Boundaries of Prayer

I am writing a book.  It is entitled "Written on My Heart"  in the past few years God has impressed on my heart "Tell your story."  It first came to me when my employer mandated the COVID vaccine in 2021.  I told my story.  Then 3 years later when the MMR was mandated, He said it again.  The outcome was not the same.  I have since realized "tell your story" was much more than a letter to my employer.  So I am now telling my story in a book. Part of my story is my Simple Things project done in 1995.  I put together a book of poems entitled "The Simple Things" The first chapter is "Moments of Prayer."  The following is one of the poems.

THE BOUNDARIES OF PRAYER

Nothing can get through the boundaries of prayer;

Not a hurt, a crime or a care. 

For our God hears all that we have to say. 

He hears our every word when we pray. 

Nothing can get through the wall therein.

In prayer, it’s a spiritual wall that’s within. 

Though noises increase and interruptions abound;

God hears our words, every breath, every sound. 

No, nothing can get through the fixed border unseen;

In prayer there is a refuge for the redeemed. 

It’s a direct channel to our Father above.

Nothing or no one can break through His unconditional love. 

Prayer, there’s nothing so easy yet so strong.

That can help us in this walk of faith to carry on. 

And through it, God leads our every path.

On to newer and deeper ways that will most assuredly last. 

Nothing can break through the border of prayer. 

Of His Godly saints who raise Him up everywhere. 

And though this present world may seem to be winning the war;

God is hearing our prayers, and answering them ever more. 

No, we may not understand all the answers He sends; 

But His Spirit will help us understand from within.  

No, Nothing can break through the fixed chasm of prayer;

No evil torrent or enemy can bother you there. 

You see prayer is a spiritual relationship between the Lord and you.

All physical elements cannot harm, no matter what they say or they do. 

No, NOTHING can break through the walls of prayer;

With our blessed faith, our God will always be there. 

© 1998 Sandra C. Johnson 

This poem was adapted into a song and can be viewed on my YouTube channel here:

Blurred Morality

Blurred Morality

I was sitting and watching the news today

As morality was blurred and put on display.

It always makes me stop and pause

As the left justifies breaking God's laws

They've decided who God is to be. 

And put someone on the throne with a degree.

One of them is Dr Fauci, a god they obey.

They have blurred morality and to this god they obey. 

God made His law clear from the beginning. 

We knew right from wrong so we would not keep sinning. 

Because you see, God's law is simple, concise and clear. 

Follow his ways and Him only is the one you should fear.

He teaches us how to live with our fellowman. 

And when to stop and to take a stand. 

But what is more are the blessings and the curses. 

Go back and read it is all there within the verses.

If man broke God's law there were consequences then.

You paid restitution when you stole from a friend

God did not make these laws out of spite.

He didn't put them together to make us fight

No, to the contrary, He made them so we could be free,

And live together treating each other with dignity. 

And God's Kingdom accepts all men no matter the race

But they must follow his laws so they won't be disgraced. 

God's laws and statutes are not prejudiced.

They don't favor one over another as some might insist

But sadly, we in our carnal nature think we can override God.

And play favorites with those who break his laws. 

We live in a nation with blurred morality who are blinded today

The desires of our hearts have become the true way

And when we goes against what they think is true,

We become immoral from their human point of view

Black is black and white is white and that will never change.

God is the same today and yesterday and nothing has been rearranged

It doesn't matter if it's 1776 or 2025.

Morality is the one stable in our world that has never been compromised.

We have a blurred morality confusing us as to what is right. 

So we back down from the masses and forfeit the fight. 

No, God has never changed and neither has His way. 

I stand with Joshua and ask choose who you will follow today. 

© 2025 Sandra C. Johnson

How Can I Not Think Of You

How Can I Not Think of You

How can I not think of you precious daughter of mine. 

No matter how much time passes, you still come to mind. 

Every now and then a tear trickles from my eye,

As I wonder about you and ask why. 

Oh I know the answers, and have accepted it all. 

But there are days when I still just want to call. 

I long for days when we talked into the night. 

And my memories of good times briefly come to light. 

So how can I not think of you from time to time. 

And long for better days when you were good and kind. 

Knowing what I know now, I understand none of it was real

Except in my heart where the memories live still. 

I will never forget what I thought we had. 

I will cling to the good times and even the bad. 

Even if you were acting and showing me a version you wanted me to believe. 

They were real to me even though I know was deceived. 

How can I not think of you and wonder where you are. 

Even though in my heart, in time and place, you are very far.

How can I just walk away and never give a second thought. 

I never will be able to.  You are my daughter who I have never forgot. 

I have walked away but not out of hate or spite. 

But because of the wasted love I spent on you that was rejected in my sight.

Because your memories are a film you devised in your head over time. 

And I can't seem to bring you back into reality, blessed daughter of mine. 

But how can I not think of you after all our years together. 

Praying for your return will always be my endeavor. 

I will be here waiting if you ever do return. 

But until then my love will be from afar so I don’t get burned.   

©2025 Sandra C. Johnson

So many children and family members have become estranged for various reasons.  I hear more and more stories.  I am not an exception.  We seek to find closure and wonder if they're our children what we could have done differently.  I have gained a great peace and understanding that the grief I sometimes feel, God does as well.  Our world has swayed away from Him, even in the church and He grieves for them and seeks for them to return to Him.  

The Divine Court

The Divine Court

The divine court resides in heaven where its decrees are made. 

It's the highest court you can call on and its verdict can't be swayed. 

It's where decisions regarding Kings and nations are decided. 

And despite what these Kings may think, these decrees will be abided. 

The divine court has a divine judge who calls the shots. 

He upholds the rights of those the world has forgot. 

The unborn who never had a chance at life. 

The widows and the orphans who had so much to sacrifice. 

The divine court is the final word that can never be thwarted. 

Despite the will of man and the politics that are supported.

The divine court has the final say over all of creation. 

It's edicts are God's final declaration.

The divine court should not be sought after lightly. 

Your own heart will be judged as you seek its justice and not so slighlty

Because you see, the divine court judges the heart of each man. 

Including those seeking its justice by a slight of hand. 

The divine court is not the place to go, 

If hate is in your heart and that is what you sow. 

As it will meat out justice to you and not rule in your favor. 

So make sure you seek its justice without hatred for your neighbor. 

But the divine court will uphold you as well.

If your heart is clean and within, His spirit dwells

It is the place where true justice will be found. 

The divine court is the highest court around.

So today when I look out at our world and I see Supreme Court decisions.

And judges orders with their biased provisions.

I don't worry because in time a new declaration will be made clear. 

From the divine court in heaven that will overrule everything here. 

The divine court rules in heaven where God is on His throne. 

I am thankful that He is the one that has the final say and is in control. 

I will wait on Him and put my judgments aside. 

With Him as my defender, I will never be denied.  

©2025 Sandra C. Johnson

This poem was adapted into a song and can be viewed on my YouTube channel here: