How Can I Not Think Of You

How Can I Not Think of You

How can I not think of you precious daughter of mine. 

No matter how much time passes, you still come to mind. 

Every now and then a tear trickles from my eye,

As I wonder about you and ask why. 

Oh I know the answers, and have accepted it all. 

But there are days when I still just want to call. 

I long for days when we talked into the night. 

And my memories of good times briefly come to light. 

So how can I not think of you from time to time. 

And long for better days when you were good and kind. 

Knowing what I know now, I understand none of it was real

Except in my heart where the memories live still. 

I will never forget what I thought we had. 

I will cling to the good times and even the bad. 

Even if you were acting and showing me a version you wanted me to believe. 

They were real to me even though I know was deceived. 

How can I not think of you and wonder where you are. 

Even though in my heart, in time and place, you are very far.

How can I just walk away and never give a second thought. 

I never will be able to.  You are my daughter who I have never forgot. 

I have walked away but not out of hate or spite. 

But because of the wasted love I spent on you that was rejected in my sight.

Because your memories are a film you devised in your head over time. 

And I can't seem to bring you back into reality, blessed daughter of mine. 

But how can I not think of you after all our years together. 

Praying for your return will always be my endeavor. 

I will be here waiting if you ever do return. 

But until then my love will be from afar so I don’t get burned.   

©2025 Sandra C. Johnson

So many children and family members have become estranged for various reasons.  I hear more and more stories.  I am not an exception.  We seek to find closure and wonder if they're our children what we could have done differently.  I have gained a great peace and understanding that the grief I sometimes feel, God does as well.  Our world has swayed away from Him, even in the church and He grieves for them and seeks for them to return to Him.