This was written in 1996 and put in a newsletter I used to send out back then. This is my original I have rewritten it and put it into song form recently on my YouTube channel.
I remember very clearly what I was going through my mind when I wrote this. I was very down on myself. We were living in very tight quarters, and I sometimes just couldn't take it. I would yell at my family and scream. and then feel so guilty, go to God begging Him for forgiveness. He then reminded me of David, and together we spanned the life of David for a few minutes. He showed me the heart of David, how David desired to please Him in every way. Yet look at the mistakes he made along the way. He committed adultery, He had terrible family problems, as his son Absalom conspired against him. Still in it all, He was a man after God's own heart. (For further study, the life of David can be found in 1 Samuel 16-1Kings 2.) The Lord reminded me that Christians, no matter how strong they think they are, still fall and still sin, and if we get to the point where we don't make mistakes then we have only deceived ourselves. We all have been there. Thought we were growing so strong, but then we get hit in the head with a dose of humility, as we see some sin in our lives that we've apparently overlooked. Sometimes we may feel as if we have let everyone down. We may feel as if we are not good enough to do the things God has called us to do. We then fall to the ground in shame and humiliation, realizing we are nothing without the precious blood of Jesus. Yet, through Jesus we can do all things, and only through Him. That's where He wants us all every single day. Sometimes it takes getting hit in the head a few times as David was, but when I looked at the story of David, a King who also fell, I realized no matter who we are, we all still are the same in the eyes of God, and are all still learning to hear His voice and live in obedience to Him. So from these thoughts came the following poem.
He was a man after God's own heart.
He ruled as King and left his mark.
For many were inspired by the man.
One led by God's mighty hand.
He sinned just like you and I.
And he struggled with emotions running high.
His children rebelled and many must have said;
He didn't raise his kids right, so it's falling on his head.
For Absalom rebelled and many problems occurred
Yes, David's family could be labeled "dysfunctional" for sure.
Yes, and for the lust of a woman he gave in;
Immorality gripped him, of all sins.
Oh the guilt I'm sure he felt at times.
Yet he repented and went on in life.
He didn't let what others said get him down;
But turned to God in prayer, where he knew the truth could be found.
You see, he knew his God and knew Him well.
When he sinned on his face in rags he fell.
Knowing he was unable to attain.
So he was in need of God sitting in shame.
Yet he was a man who sought God in all things.
When he sinned, he repented and in God found grace.
He never got discouraged or afraid to be wrong.
No, he knew we must first be weak before becoming strong.
Oh David, the man I admire today;
For as I sin and fall in my way;
I thank the Lord that His forgiveness is there;
It draws me closer to my father in prayer.
So even if you've failed your family and friends;
Even if you feel you've committed the most horrible sin.
In repentance, remember David the man;
And as you seek God's heart, His love you'll then understand.
When we acknowledge our sin that's within;
God will raise us to new heights once again.
Yes, he was a man after God's own heart.
And what he had going, I want a part.
©1996 Sandra C. Johnson
